I think I finally understand edge play from the bottom’s perspective. Anal play, both giving and receiving, are a serious turn on for me. I’m also somewhat drawn to medical play with items such as catheters, sounds, speculums, enemas, etc. Combine the two and all kinds of kinky fun can be had with the right precautions.
Lately my anal fun has been anything but fun. Over the last couple of months, I have been undergoing treatments for a very serious medical issue. Now that the swelling and infections are cleared, the doctors can go in to take a look at the root cause.
What does this have to do with edge play and fetish? Here’s where it gets a bit personal. What I have is an acute case of diverticulosis. That is, a swelling or infection in the last few inches of the lower intestine or colon. I spent most of a day in the ER a few weeks ago, on IV antibiotics and a whole lot of pain killers. After two 10-day runs of very strong antibiotics, I’m cleared for a colonoscopy.
A colonoscopy is a routine, but not inconsequential procedure requiring complete sedation and there is, at least in my case, some mild risk of complications.
The thought of a colonoscopy, the deepest, most intense anal penetration I”ve ever experienced is something that turns me on tremendously. The thought of getting a colonscopy, the reasons I’m getting one and what the results may mean for me, both short and long term are somewhat terrifying.
I am at once, both incredibly scared and incredibly turned on by the same thing. This, in my mind, is the definition of Edge Play. There is a small, though manageable, risk involved. There is a sense of helplessness, of putting my trust completely in someone else, and because I’ll be sedated for this, effectively working without a safe word.
Looking at this in a broader light, I begin to understand the attraction of edge play for those on the bottom. For me, the sadist and top in most all of my play, the draw is to be the one in control. I gain my pleasure from the knowledge that someone trusts me enough to put themselves in my power and under my control.
That little sense of fear I get when I think about what I’m going to be undergoing next month only makes the arousal I feel when approaching any new kind of anal play (and medical play as well) that much stronger. Fear and arousal together is not something I’m very familiar with. It’s new and something I think I’m going to explore more in the future.
So tell me, dear readers, what do you do, or have you done in, that gets your juices flowing as well as scares you senseless? Why? And would you do it again?