Posts in Category: abuse

On consent, a political rant.
On consent, a political rant. avatar

I rarely post political rants, but this one needs to be said.  I won’t bore you with yet another blog post about the idiocy going on in congress over birth control coverage, abortion rights, etc.  You’ve seen it, read it, heard it, said it.

What I will do is speak briefly about consent and rape.  What I want is comment and discussion so I’ll keep this brief and to the point.

If someone uses coercion, force  or threat of force to violate the body of a woman, through unwanted physical manipulation up to the point of penetration of her body with a foreign object, then that is, in a word, rape.

Forcing  a woman, for whatever reason, to submit to an unwanted physical penetration, an unwanted intrusion into her private affairs, an unwanted and undesired exposure of her most intimate encounters and her body itself, is rape.

Placing yourself between a woman and the requirements of her health and well being, placing yourself as arbiter of her health and her personal interactions with other people is abuse.

Using force or the threat of force to forbid a woman the access to the things she needs to maintain her health, wellness and happiness is abuse.

Forbidding a woman, through coercion, force or threat of force, the right to choose how she cares for her own body is abuse.

I think we can all agree on those definitions when talking about personal interactions.  If it were a lover, a spouse, a parent, a neighbor, a friend acting in those heinous ways towards a woman, every one of us would be first in line to protect her, help her, see that justice is done.

But we have a situation where it’s not a friend or a relative or a spouse acting in those heinous ways.  It’s Congressmen, CEOs, Priests, and Presidents.    What I ask now, is what do we do about it?

 

Submission versus abuse
Submission versus abuse avatar

This is a little earlier than I’d planned on publishing a second post, but a friend e-mailed me a pretty excellent question.

“Where the line is drawn between submission and abuse, from the perspective of the dom? For example, how does the dom know, when he says “you filthy whore”, that he is meeting the requirements of his sub and not emotionally abusing her, unless they have carefully laid out a blow-by-blow playbook in advance? It reminds me of what the old oval track racers used to say, “There’s no such thing as going too fast, until you crash. Then its too late.”

First, that’s what initial negotiations and discussions about limits are for. For some people, name-calling is a major turn-on. For some other people, it’s never, never okay under any circumstances. There’s no way to know in advance, unless you ask. Any responsible dom will ask a potential sub “What are your hard limits?” Any responsible sub will be very direct and honest about stating what those limits are.

Things that make me sad and angry.
Things that make me sad and angry. avatar

How do I leave when I have given all of my power away and been collared? Are there some type of formalities I need to follow, or can I just go? I’m trying to do that now, but my partner hasn’t given permission.