(Yeah, I’m cross posting this from my photography blog. Deal with it. <grin>)
I found myself in a creative mindset tonight and decided to experiment a bit with B&W images. I went back to a set of Jess & Swan Song from June and either did a new treatment of one of the shots I’ve already published or picked out new images from that set to play with. I think you’ll like the results.
Here’s a link to the full gallery: LINK
More images past the fold. Beware, they’re not safe for work.
I think I finally understand edge play from the bottom’s perspective. Anal play, both giving and receiving, are a serious turn on for me. I’m also somewhat drawn to medical play with items such as catheters, sounds, speculums, enemas, etc. Combine the two and all kinds of kinky fun can be had with the right precautions.
Lately my anal fun has been anything but fun. Over the last couple of months, I have been undergoing treatments for a very serious medical issue. Now that the swelling and infections are cleared, the doctors can go in to take a look at the root cause.
What does this have to do with edge play and fetish? Here’s where it gets a bit personal. What I have is an acute case of diverticulosis. That is, a swelling or infection in the last few inches of the lower intestine or colon. I spent most of a day in the ER a few weeks ago, on IV antibiotics and a whole lot of pain killers. After two 10-day runs of very strong antibiotics, I’m cleared for a colonoscopy.
A colonoscopy is a routine, but not inconsequential procedure requiring complete sedation and there is, at least in my case, some mild risk of complications.
The thought of a colonoscopy, the deepest, most intense anal penetration I”ve ever experienced is something that turns me on tremendously. The thought of getting a colonscopy, the reasons I’m getting one and what the results may mean for me, both short and long term are somewhat terrifying.
I am at once, both incredibly scared and incredibly turned on by the same thing. This, in my mind, is the definition of Edge Play. There is a small, though manageable, risk involved. There is a sense of helplessness, of putting my trust completely in someone else, and because I’ll be sedated for this, effectively working without a safe word.
Looking at this in a broader light, I begin to understand the attraction of edge play for those on the bottom. For me, the sadist and top in most all of my play, the draw is to be the one in control. I gain my pleasure from the knowledge that someone trusts me enough to put themselves in my power and under my control.
That little sense of fear I get when I think about what I’m going to be undergoing next month only makes the arousal I feel when approaching any new kind of anal play (and medical play as well) that much stronger. Fear and arousal together is not something I’m very familiar with. It’s new and something I think I’m going to explore more in the future.
So tell me, dear readers, what do you do, or have you done in, that gets your juices flowing as well as scares you senseless? Why? And would you do it again?
It’s Musical Monday! (either that or I need to have my meds adjusted…)
Crop welts on asses and bruises from hittin’s
Bright scarlet cross-lines and wet cuntlip drippins
Soft pliant submissives tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things!
Next verse awaits.. write it in the comments.
Been playing with Tumblr over the last couple of days. It looks interesting and is a good place to find reasonably decent content. Now to find a way to automagically embed my tumblr content into a page here on wordpress.
If you want to see what I’m doing out there, you know what to do: TheHappySadist@Tumbler
Kicking things off here with a couple of points. Sharp points, that is.
I have a personal rule that I will not attempt something with a sub or slave that I have not either done to myself or had done to me by someone else. If I don’t know what it feels like, how can I have any clue what my subs are feeling.
When it comes to things that are much more on the RACK* side than the SSC* side, this rule is even more important.
That being said, on to the points I want to make.
Endorphin Buttons are something that I’ve read a lot about, and have seen done in demonstrations and scenes several times over the years. I’ve done needle play with several of my subs over the years, but nothing quite as elaborate so tonight I did one on myself to see what, if any, truth there was to what others have said.
Here’s a shot of a simple two-needle button I did on my own arm tonight:
There was a slight sting as I slid the needles in but that quickly faded to a very nice warm glow that radiated up my arm. I attempted a third needle (as you can see from the stray drop of blood) but could not get a good angle to get past the junction point. Since I’m using 22g needles, I didn’t want to risk breaking the tip off inside my arm.
I left the needles in for about half an hour, pressing on the junction occasionally to see if it enhanced the endorphin rush. It did feel good, and the warm glow was very nice, but nothing close to what I would call an “oh my god” experience.
This is another thing to add to my arsenal of ‘evil things to do to a sub to make them squirm, cry or cum’ but probably will not end up being used very often.