My lovely Smart Assed Masochist and I are doing Dragon*Con again this year. There promises to be much debauchery and lechery all weekend. I’ll be posting as or rather just after it happens, so watch this space for more.!
I think I finally understand edge play from the bottom’s perspective. Anal play, both giving and receiving, are a serious turn on for me. I’m also somewhat drawn to medical play with items such as catheters, sounds, speculums, enemas, etc. Combine the two and all kinds of kinky fun can be had with the right precautions.
Lately my anal fun has been anything but fun. Over the last couple of months, I have been undergoing treatments for a very serious medical issue. Now that the swelling and infections are cleared, the doctors can go in to take a look at the root cause.
What does this have to do with edge play and fetish? Here’s where it gets a bit personal. What I have is an acute case of diverticulosis. That is, a swelling or infection in the last few inches of the lower intestine or colon. I spent most of a day in the ER a few weeks ago, on IV antibiotics and a whole lot of pain killers. After two 10-day runs of very strong antibiotics, I’m cleared for a colonoscopy.
A colonoscopy is a routine, but not inconsequential procedure requiring complete sedation and there is, at least in my case, some mild risk of complications.
The thought of a colonoscopy, the deepest, most intense anal penetration I”ve ever experienced is something that turns me on tremendously. The thought of getting a colonscopy, the reasons I’m getting one and what the results may mean for me, both short and long term are somewhat terrifying.
I am at once, both incredibly scared and incredibly turned on by the same thing. This, in my mind, is the definition of Edge Play. There is a small, though manageable, risk involved. There is a sense of helplessness, of putting my trust completely in someone else, and because I’ll be sedated for this, effectively working without a safe word.
Looking at this in a broader light, I begin to understand the attraction of edge play for those on the bottom. For me, the sadist and top in most all of my play, the draw is to be the one in control. I gain my pleasure from the knowledge that someone trusts me enough to put themselves in my power and under my control.
That little sense of fear I get when I think about what I’m going to be undergoing next month only makes the arousal I feel when approaching any new kind of anal play (and medical play as well) that much stronger. Fear and arousal together is not something I’m very familiar with. It’s new and something I think I’m going to explore more in the future.
So tell me, dear readers, what do you do, or have you done in, that gets your juices flowing as well as scares you senseless? Why? And would you do it again?
It’s Musical Monday! (either that or I need to have my meds adjusted…)
Crop welts on asses and bruises from hittin’s
Bright scarlet cross-lines and wet cuntlip drippins
Soft pliant submissives tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things!
Next verse awaits.. write it in the comments.
I don’t normally do this here, but this video is just too damned cute and fetish worthy to not pass along. I mean come on, Alesandra Torressani in a slave Leia costume dancing with Amy Okuda? What’s NOT to love about that?
Or to put it more accurately, I’m thanking myself for putting down the kindle or stepping away from the computer for a while to pounce on SaM.
Both of us, over the last few months, have settled into a comfortable routine in the evenings. After guests have gone, housemates are in bed, the cats are doing whatever it is cats do when you turn the lights out, and things have quieted down, we can relax. Our evenings typically involve sitting and reading blogs, playing one of the games we own, reading books or just sitting quietly until we fall asleep. It’s good, healthy, quiet and relaxing.
“What’s wrong this that?”, I hear you ask. Nothing at all, unless that’s all you do, every evening, night after night. Neither of us have had the energy for the kind of knock down, furniture breaking, neighbor frightening, cat terrifying sex we love. Out of our concern for each other, for our lives we’ve let ourselves fall into the habit of banking the fires of our sex lives until we do have that energy.
This denies us a very vital part of our love life; intimacy. Seeing her laying on the bed on her side, knee pulled up, light spilling across her naked thigh and the swell of her breast as she reads is an incredibly erotic sight for me. There is nothing about her actions, words or behavior that stops me from initiating a night of wild sex. It is my own self imposed limitations.
What I realized last night, is that those self imposed limitations, based on the reality of both of our physical and mental health right now (I was in the hospital last weekend, after all) has not only stopped us from the nights of wild, raucous monkey sex, but has gotten in the way of plain, simple, intimacy.
With that realization, I did something I haven’t done in months. I turned to SaM, asked her to put away the laptop and kiss me. Just that. Nothing more asked, nothing more expected. Just kiss me.
When we first got together we would spend time just exploring each other. Sitting, holding each other, kissing, rubbing, petting. Physically and emotionally intimate time together, with no expectations of anything more. That’s not to say things didn’t often move on from there to some of the best sex I’ve had in my life, but that wasn’t the goal. There was no goal.
Last night started with a kiss, a caress and cuddling. It ended up with a soft, sensual and pleasant evening for both of us. There wasn’t a lot of heavy breathing, sweating, bruises or even any rope. We didn’t have sex. We made love. It was exactly what we’d been missing.
This intimacy led to several hours of conversation about a lot of things both of us have been worried about. I found myself able to ask her some pretty scary questions and answer hers as well. Without that inimacy we’d shared earlier, neither of us would have been able to do that.
We’re going to Duckstock in June and are conserving our wild monkey-sex energy for that. It’ll be a celebration of her birthday, of my new job, of quite a few things going on in our lives. Until then, though, we will be rebuilding that intimacy, that sense of openness and sharing, that lack of expectation in the ourselves that is so important in living in that golden moment.
Wish us luck.
Been playing with Tumblr over the last couple of days. It looks interesting and is a good place to find reasonably decent content. Now to find a way to automagically embed my tumblr content into a page here on wordpress.
If you want to see what I’m doing out there, you know what to do: TheHappySadist@Tumbler
Several people have asked me for a sample of the kind of pose or photo needed for “Pussy Parade” project being put together by Beast of The Beautiful Kind blog. I detailed the project in my last post (here). Below the cut are a couple of sample shots from the project that I took tonight.
These are detailed photos of a model’s labia. Don’t look at these at work.
Back in February I participated in a discussion in the comments section of this blog post: Labiaplasty: When Douchebags Attack
Out of that discussion was born a project being led by Kendra’s partner, Beast called “The Pussy Parade”. In essence it’s a photo essay and collage on all the varied shapes, sizes and forms of natural, healthy female genitalia. From the blog:
Title: Pussy Parade, The Beautiful (and only) Kind
Medium: Photograph Collage (Color)
Purpose: To celebrate the beauty and uniqueness of the female external genitalia. Any and all styles are needed. Any color. Any religion. Virgin or Slut. Any style. Decorated or not. They are all beautiful.
Subjects: Any woman 18 and up who is interested in participating, WILLINGLY. Many pictures will be taken in person by myself or local photographers. If you are interested in participating, please send me an email (beast at the beautiful kind dot com). Please understand, that I will need confirmation from the subject that this picture is being submitted with her knowledge. I will then send you particulars on resolution and staging of the photograph.
NOTE: The identity of the subjects will not be revealed by me, nor anyone associated with the production of this project or this website under any circumstances.
I have agreed to participate in this project and am looking for women willing to model for this cause. If anyone is interested in participating, please let me know and we can set up a time here in the studio for the shoot. It shouldn’t take more than half an hour to an hour in all.
The anonymity of this project is not something I normally would strive for. My art trends towards the individual, the person, the inner personality of the models, not just their physical body.
This is different. The purpose of this collage is to show the beauty of Everywoman. That no matter who you are, what you see in the mirror, you are beautiful. You are just. like. every. other. woman. in. the. world.
My comment on the TBK blog post sums up my view on this pretty well:
I see the issue in two ways. First, if a woman wants to modify their body in some way, it’s her body and she owns it. No one has the right, privilege or responsibility to tell her otherwise.
That being said, I do agree that the image of “beauty” being portrayed in the media; print, video, film and online, is extremely unhealthy.
Our children are immersed in a whiled with a neurotic, insane idea that if someone sees a flash of labia their lives will be ruined and they’ll need years and years of therapy. Even a flash of jewelry decorated nipple sent the nation into spasms of outrage.
No where outside of niche media, hardcore pornography and medical textbooks does anyone encounter complete, healthy, beautiful genitalia.
So if you’re interested, drop me a note on here, or at my contact page.
(note: this post is mirrored from my primary photography blog.)
This post originated over on Fetlife in their tech support forum. (original here: Link ). The question posed is one of concern for what information is sent to google when you click on a link or picture on Fetlife. The original poster is afraid that their IP address, associated with the picture they clicked on, is sent to google and therefore can be traced back to their identity.
My response there is included below for discussion and debate. Enjoy.