Posts Tagged: safety

Dragon*Con 2011 – AAR
Dragon*Con 2011 – AAR avatar

A full after action report from Dragon*Con 2011 will be coming in a day or two, after SAM and I have had a chance to compare notes. It’s always fun sitting down after a major convention and talking about what/who/where/when/how we did when not together.

We apologize for no updates during the convention but Wi-Fi access was spotty to non-existent all weekend. Now that we’re home, though, photos and all the sweaty details to come. Watch this space.

HS & SAM

A taste of edgeplay…
A taste of edgeplay… avatar

I think I finally understand edge play from the bottom’s perspective. Anal play, both giving and receiving, are a serious turn on for me. I’m also somewhat drawn to medical play with items such as catheters, sounds, speculums, enemas, etc. Combine the two and all kinds of kinky fun can be had with the right precautions.

Lately my anal fun has been anything but fun. Over the last couple of months, I have been undergoing treatments for a very serious medical issue. Now that the swelling and infections are cleared, the doctors can go in to take a look at the root cause.

What does this have to do with edge play and fetish? Here’s where it gets a bit personal. What I have is an acute case of diverticulosis. That is, a swelling or infection in the last few inches of the lower intestine or colon. I spent most of a day in the ER a few weeks ago, on IV antibiotics and a whole lot of pain killers. After two 10-day runs of very strong antibiotics, I’m cleared for a colonoscopy.

A colonoscopy is a routine, but not inconsequential procedure requiring complete sedation and there is, at least in my case, some mild risk of complications.

The thought of a colonoscopy, the deepest, most intense anal penetration I”ve ever experienced is something that turns me on tremendously. The thought of getting a colonscopy, the reasons I’m getting one and what the results may mean for me, both short and long term are somewhat terrifying.

I am at once, both incredibly scared and incredibly turned on by the same thing. This, in my mind, is the definition of Edge Play. There is a small, though manageable, risk involved. There is a sense of helplessness, of putting my trust completely in someone else, and because I’ll be sedated for this, effectively working without a safe word.

Looking at this in a broader light, I begin to understand the attraction of edge play for those on the bottom. For me, the sadist and top in most all of my play, the draw is to be the one in control. I gain my pleasure from the knowledge that someone trusts me enough to put themselves in my power and under my control.

That little sense of fear I get when I think about what I’m going to be undergoing next month only makes the arousal I feel when approaching any new kind of anal play (and medical play as well) that much stronger. Fear and arousal together is not something I’m very familiar with. It’s new and something I think I’m going to explore more in the future.

So tell me, dear readers, what do you do, or have you done in, that gets your juices flowing as well as scares you senseless? Why? And would you do it again?

On privacy and Google Analytics.
On privacy and Google Analytics. avatar

This post originated over on Fetlife in their tech support forum.  (original here: Link ).  The question posed is one of concern for what information is sent to google when you click on a link or picture on Fetlife.  The  original poster is afraid that their IP  address, associated with the picture they clicked on, is sent to google and therefore can be traced back to their identity.

My response there is included below for discussion and debate.  Enjoy.

Master/Slave relationship when you have kids.
Master/Slave relationship when you have kids. avatar

Someone on a forum asked a very, very excellent question. I know little about this person except that she’s new to the idea of BDSM, and she has a child.

“Does being in a master slave relationship have to continue outside the bedroom? Or do you take it outside of the bedroom?

From my point of view (and, fair warning, others will disagree with me very strongly), it is just not possible to have a “true 24/7” master-slave relationship in a modern Western world where the people in the relationship have any duties or responsibilities to other people. There is always going to be something in life that is going to require the master/slave dynamic to be set aside for periods of time. It is completely unrealistic to expect that one person is going to be able to devote every moment to obeying/pleasing their partner.

What the hell is ‘consensual non-consent’?
What the hell is ‘consensual non-consent’? avatar

I mean, either you consent or you don’t, right?

Well, mostly. For most people, the phrase “consensual non-consent” is about eight gajillion kinds of utterly pointless; they have no need for it. For some people, though, they still like to play Cowboys & Indians. Just with a more, um, adult focus. It is definitely a type of activity that is rated NFE – Not For Everyone.

Some people, though, really get off on the fantasy of, say, being captured and raped by pirates. Or being the pirate. It’s not something anyone would really want to happen in real life, but a little dress-up, a few props, and hey! Things can get fun.

Things that make me sad and angry.
Things that make me sad and angry. avatar

How do I leave when I have given all of my power away and been collared? Are there some type of formalities I need to follow, or can I just go? I’m trying to do that now, but my partner hasn’t given permission.