I got into a (brief) argument on the internet.
I know, it’s shocking. Arguments on the intarwebs, who’d’ve thought?
The person I was arguing with self-identified as an “older Southern gentleman”, which demographically (with other cues from the discussion) indicating he was a Christian white male, approximately 60 years old, of a fairly conservative upbringing and culture. The particular thing I took issue with was his utter contempt for men working in pornography. He put the word men in quotation marks and referred to them as “male whores”.
Another person chimed in to say she had never seen pornography, and was sure she wouldn’t like it, as it would be “humiliating” to “watch people mate like animals”.
My point of view was that it was inconsistent to have such contempt for people who openly and legally use sexual activity to make money, but then to not acknowledge that a large number of people (mostly women), use marriage in that same exchange of sexual activity for resources and/or money.
At that point, I dropped the argument, because I couldn’t think of a really good analogy at the time, and it was on another person’s blog. Manners and simple courtesy dictated I drop the discussion. However, I’ve finally managed to come up with something that will describe the disconnect.
I find NASCAR to be an experience, for me, that the female person above imagines pornography would be like to her. I find it repulsive, repugnant, degrading, and immoral to have that level of enthusiasm and sponsorship for blood sports.
Let’s face it, people aren’t that fascinated with watching cars go round and round on a track a gajillion times. They’re waiting for someone to die. Gloriously. In a flaming, smoking explosion that will then be broadcast over and over in gory, graphic, the-media-will-love-it detail.
I guess to a degree I’ll never understand how people can find the morbid obsession with a high-risk sport perfectly okay, but watching two or more people having a great time fucking is somehow demeaning and contemptible.
I’ll make you a deal, Normal People. You stop being assholes to porn stars and the people who watch them, and I’ll keep my opinions about people obsessed with formalized violence with a high risk of death or severe injury to myself.
A full after action report from Dragon*Con 2011 will be coming in a day or two, after SAM and I have had a chance to compare notes. It’s always fun sitting down after a major convention and talking about what/who/where/when/how we did when not together.
We apologize for no updates during the convention but Wi-Fi access was spotty to non-existent all weekend. Now that we’re home, though, photos and all the sweaty details to come. Watch this space.
HS & SAM
Someone on a forum asked a very, very excellent question. I know little about this person except that she’s new to the idea of BDSM, and she has a child.
“Does being in a master slave relationship have to continue outside the bedroom? Or do you take it outside of the bedroom?
From my point of view (and, fair warning, others will disagree with me very strongly), it is just not possible to have a “true 24/7” master-slave relationship in a modern Western world where the people in the relationship have any duties or responsibilities to other people. There is always going to be something in life that is going to require the master/slave dynamic to be set aside for periods of time. It is completely unrealistic to expect that one person is going to be able to devote every moment to obeying/pleasing their partner.