When I say “frequently” I mean that this question gets asked on some forum somewhere DAILY. It gets asked by men and women, submissives and dominants, sadists and masochists.
“If my spouse isn’t satisfying me, is it immoral to go elsewhere for that satisfaction and just not mention it to them?”
And then, shortly after that, the particular thread to that question explodes into an angsty flailing mud wrestling match that is best described by the following, almost completely unrelated statements:
“You whore, you swore a vow when you got married, you’re a BAD PERSON!”
“It’s totally okay, I do that, too.”
“It’s only okay if you don’t actually have SEX-sex.”
“HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BAD PERSON? WAIT TILL THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, MISS PERFECT! DON’T JUDGE ME! YOU DON’T KNOW ME!”
First off, please for the love of all that’s kinky, stop asking strangers on the internet for validation. No one with a fucking brain is going to tell you it’s okay to fuck around without your spouse’s consent. It’s just not.
Second, do not get all butt-hurt when you ask a question on the internet and get an answer. Even if it’s one you don’t like.
Third, OF COURSE WE’RE JUDGING YOU! Goddamn. You know what happens when we judge you? NOT. A. FUCKING. THING. What, I care enough about your trashy ass to track you down like I’m a b/tard so I can tell your spouse?
Please. I could be doing something constructive, like masturbating.
You know, when you ask a question on the internet – especially one like that – you are inviting people to judge you. Don’t be all butt-hurt when they accept.
Now, to ANSWER the goddamn question; no. It is, in fact, never ever ever okay to have sex with a person who is not the person you are married to, unless you have your spouse’s consent first.
Here’s the basic test. When your spouse says “Where were you all day? I tried calling and you weren’t here.” if you have to lie about it THEN YOU’RE FUCKING UP.
It’s not that goddamn complicated, people.